Un jour, j’ai ete dejeuner dans un pti cafe a cote de mon bureau. J’ai pris un “steak sandwich” et c’etait super bon. Alors chaque jour, je revenais et je prenais tourjours la meme chose, j’ai manger ca pendant peut etre 2 mois, avant que le resto decide de changer de menu et de ne plus faire de “steak sandwich”. Donc j’etais bien obliger de manger autre choses, alors j’ai pris un “paris pide”…et ben c’etait super bon aussi, meme plus que le “steak sandwich”! Ben ma vie c’est pareil, j’ai adopter un rituel quotidien depuis environ 8 mois. Mais aujourd’hui j’ai eu envie de gouter a autre chose, j’ai eu envi d’ecrire.
Archive for the 'Being Me' Category
Cool, it’s the weekend !!! I am glad, i while have more time to do nothin. I started school on monday. We are 7 students all from differents countries and ages. And i seems to be the younger. The teacher is only 2 years older than me, but from what he told us, he seems to be really experience with autocad. He said he have about 9 years of experiences…Damn i just realise ! that guy started to studay CAD at 16 years old ! Good for him that he knew what he would become in the futur. The course is ok for the moment, pretty basic and easy to learn. So it doesn’t really need more attention to it when i back home. I can focus on my other studies: maya, 3ds max, drawing and grindin’ pvp to get rank 13 in wow.
I am back in NZ. My flat just look empty…I already miss Tahiti. I miss my family, my bed, sandwiches from madeleine, drinving “el taco”, going to the beach and the new friends i met. For my first day back in nz, i tried to slept a bit then i went to have lunch with my cousin and his girlfriend at denny’s. The food is still the same but it seems that i lost my appetite. Then i went with albert to the school i plan to apply for my AutoCad formation. I had an interview with the chairmain, which was not really helpful. He started to talk about immigration stuff instead of giving more info about the course itself. I’ll just have to wait for next week to finally be able to talk to someone who knows something. I know that my writting is really simple and maybe not very grammaticaly correct. But i am still tired from the poor flight i had this morning. I just decide that i should start to write again on my blog. K now i am gonna decide if i am gonna stay at home and finish my book or going out and stay at a bar watching people doing stupid things.
Just came back from the fish market, which is the new name for the “sea mart” that used to be down hobson street. They relocated it more near the viaduct and it looks much cleaner than the “sea mart”. The old one was just like a depot of fish piled up whereas the “fish market” was a sea attraction, like an aquarium. I went there to buy some bluff oyster for my parents, who really love that.
I used to dislike oyster, but since last christmas i started to like it. And from what i heard those bluff are even better. Plus, those oyster are full of Zinc which is good for sperm production 
lol. When i finally found the oysters, i took a bag and start to put the little tins in it. I was suppose to take only 10…but its only when i heard the price that i realise that i took 18 !!! LOL I think my brain was still sleeping at that moment.
After that i went to new world and food town to look for some stuff for my mum. And here i am taking a rest, coz i still have to go back in town to get a new pair of shoes, a t-shirt for my brother, a mac keyboard and to get some food !!!!!! I am just starving!
:( I am such a loser !!! I’ve seen a really nice girl, but i just can’t go and talk to her I think i just think too much….n also i think i just wouldn’t like to be rejected lol. But like my friend told me “if u r not ready to lose, u can’t win” And this is fuckin’ true !!! I know i will regret it. Just like with the girl i wanted to go out with when i was in high school…guess things will never change!
Oh and today my friend made me realise that i have another problem ! LOL I am an Hypocondriac...this week i was sure that i had contracted a disease “meningitis” LOL its because, when i was in the club last week, i drank a glass a coke without a straw. And its because just a few minutes before that my friend’s gf drank in my glass and she told me “u dont have meningitis, do u ?” And from that moment i just kept on thinking about that. I was very stressed i looked on the net to check the symptoms.
I each day, i was certain to see the symptoms appear, like rashes, itchy skin, headaches and feeling sleepy. I was telling me “shit, how should i do? should i go to the doctor?” I was really getting anxious, and today i decided to do a few minutes of yi quan to relax and to clean my mind of those silly stuffs.
After that i realise that, the what i though were rashes…were just red pimples, the irritation was i thing from the changing weather who coz some electrostatic in my cloth and the headaches was due to the lack of sleep, coz this week i was sleeping maybe 4h per day.
Tonite my friend peter asked me if u knew what an hypocondriac was. I immediatly look for the definition…and fuck that was exactly me. I read a few post on some forums, and they are heaps of people in the same case. Knowing that was kinda a relief…but i still have those fear…but i know that i am not alone and there is a way to surpass those fears. 
I am sure peter is really happy to know that today a bought a mac. I really small mac, the new mac mini. Its really small, one of the characteristic i was looking for. At the moment i am still not used to the interface, its looks easy but i am still not sure where is where. But i am sure i’ll get use to it pretty quickly.
But before i bought that i went to bond and bond (computer shop) on queenstreet. It was pretty busy, all of the vendor were already taking care of other clients. So i patiently wait for my turn to be served and while i was waiting (which was for about 20 min) i just keep walking around the shop looking at the same thing again and again. I tried to play some game on a PSP, but lucky me the button didn’t seem to work. So i just wait there for a guy to come and ask me what i was looking for. Usually i don’t really like when people sneak behind me and suddenly tell me “Hello !!!! Can i help u If u need anything just ask !! :P”. I finally i saw one guy free, i just ran to him and ask him about the mac mini. He then start to speak really fast…then i ask to repeat what he just said. Then he told me that they dont sell any more mac mini but that he will go look behind if they still have some in stock. I thank him for that, then i waited 15 min (i was getting really impatient, coz i wanted to pee) Then i saw the guy coming back. I looked at him, he look at me, i walked straight to him. And guess what this dude tell me…..He said “hi ! can i help u ?”. I was like “wtf dude, i just ask u about a mac mini…and u come back and tell me if u can help me….fuck u!!!” LOL. That’s what i wanted to say but instead and just remind him about the computer. And he just look at me and said “oh ! Sorry we don’t have it”. I just waste about 1h in this shop for nothing.
Then i went to new market to buy a car mirror for my friend. And with alber we decide to go have a look at the bond and bond in new market. But they didn’t have any. So we went across the road at Noel Lemming, and i saw them advertising the mac mini, but no mac mini in display. So i looked around to find someone to help me. And i saw a woman just walking around, just like she was waiting to be ask something. So i walked up to her and said “Hi…” and then i saw the look and her face, she was really embarass. And i was like “not working here, r u ?” and she replied with a smile “no” !! lol I was just so embarass ! lol. Then i notice that she was just waiting for her boyfriend.
After that we went to an Apple shop on Parnell. I think that was the first place i should have go. There were heaps of stuff for mac…so i just asked for my mac mini and i immideatly go it. The girl at the counter and really nice grey eyes. I just couldn’t stop staring at here while she was explaining me all the things about the computer. She isn’t really my type but her eyes are just so…euh…so attractive? dunno what word to use.
Finnaly i got back home, i played a lil bit of wow and chatting. And tonite on the menu i had some japenese food.
I have one week left in nz ! I am so gonna miss my flat! Of course i really want to go back to tahiti, to see my family and my friends. But even if i live by myself in nz, its make me feels good. I mean when i am here, I’ve time to think and relax, i know i could do the same in tahiti but its just to hot to think. And the fact that there is no one to tell u what to do (not that my parents are…they r really cool) and to do whatever u want to do and whenever u want it. This sense of freedom is just awesome. And at the moment that’s what i need. I realise that i am in a mental fight with myself…I am just like jesus on a journey in the desert and trying to fight differente temptations…but i’ve failed I have what they called “procastination” (french definition here) this word reflect my situation at the moment (not all of it but some part). Its true for the part where they said i am not happy with what i am doing so i stop doing it and do something else instead. Here’s of course the main problem is my 3D project..I so want it to be perfect, i already planed the way it should look like. But i just can’t make it (but i know i will someday) so instead i play warcraft. I know its a fuckin game that waste a lot of my time, but i am just addicted to it and it make me forgot about this damn project. Its also because of the black spot on my face Once a woman told my mum that i should get those spots remove, because she said that if not i will never be able to finish whatever thing i start. It really confused me and still….how could black spots on my face could affect my way of doing things. But when i feel down about my project…when i thing that i can’t do it and thinking of doing another project that will be more suited to my capacities. I always think about what that woman said…that’s my real fight. I wanna believe that i can change that those spots won’t decide for me. I know that i might sound crazy…but i thing it really exist a link between the mind and the body. When i really think about it, i think i am that pissed because i think that the woman might be true But i think that those black spots are not something bad…there are just signs that shows me that something is wrond and that i should change. And i truelly think that when i will be able to change my mind and do things correctly those spots might dissapear on their own. I am weird huh ? lol
OH OH !! I AM DRUNK !! LOL i just came back from a nite club…Margaritas as always. I was suppose to meet my friend andry there to get a drink together. But he told me he can’t coz he have to clean his house So for a while i was there all by myself. Then i saw leaf a friend who work at the time zone (game centre) and i chat with him for a moment. Then i saw a guy from my kickboxing club, and he bought me a drink…he then introduce me to his girlfriend ! It was just weird…i’ve been to the club for about 2 month now but i beraly know anyone. I just say “hi”. So that guy angelo offer me some shots of “sex on the beach” and “tequila”. Damn i so dont like tequila…i think its because of my 22 birthday where i had to drink 22 tequila but i only drunk about 20. I was so fucked that nite…i remember me stick my finger in my throat to make me vomit…coz i couldn’t sleep. Tonite was cool…and i was the first one to congratulate my friend coz he had the bad idea to propose to his girlfriend when he was drunk ! lol I hope he knew what he was doing…He is only 21 and And the thing is that 2 min after he told me he propose to her…he was telling me about this chick at our club that we want to go out with ! lol and he keep telling me “man !! we just have one life…so don’t waste it”. I am sure he won’t rememner anything when i see him on monday. And now i am playing some wow…i coudnl’t sleep because of the redbull. But just now, while i am typing my eyes r getting really heavy….:( SO i might go to bed soon. I just have to hand in a quest Damn i am jsut so fuckin addicted to this game I know its bad for me but i am still playing ! Poor me !
I am going back home soon…On the 14th of may i ma taking the plane to Tahiti, i will sure miss nz ! but i know for sure that i won’t miss this cold weather. I just went oustide at “chez le jaune” (chinoise resto) and i was freezin my ass outside. I know that I will spend most of my time training..coz i might do a kickboxing competition on july. I’ve been training in nz for about 2 month. I really like the club i found i event bought their t-shirt and pants Their training is really different from the one i used to do in tahiti..its more focus on fitness. And i am glad coz i lost 4kg I can see my abs again ! lol. But i am still a bit nervous about the competition, coz i never fight someone before. I during my training i had the chance to do a little bit of sparring with the trainer…and my punch looks really heavy and painful, so other’s punches must be the same >< I am gonna get my ass kick for sure. But its something i want to try….its just that i really want to know how it feels when u r on the ring. Its just u and the other guy starring at each other, and as the time goes by the adreline just getting higher. And the feeling of winning must feel so good. And from what the trainer said…kickboxing is just like a chess game. U must foresee the attack of ur oppenent and counterattack it. I think i am so into it, coz i had so many dreams when i felt weak, i couldn’t do anything to defend myself. I just want to know if my training really did something. I am not the kind of person who want to fight other just to hurt them…i just that i like the feeling i have while i am in the ring…u just forget everything, it might be this sensation of freedom.
Yesterday i finally decided to go to the hairdresser…each day when i walk in from of the hairdresser i say to myself “dude go cut your hair, they start to get pretty long and you know its bothering you while u do kickboxing….but on the other side its true that there a not that long and you could always come back another…Yes lets come back another day and go play games instead”. Oh and when you go to the hairdresser do you like to talk with them ? Coz each time i go there the dude always talk to me about chicks and sex !LOL not that it bothers me. I just feel weird when I know there are 2 or 3 woman sitting next to me. Like one time he was lying “damn dude, u know this girl she really likes to sick the duck…and she always ask for more !!!” well it was pretty funny ! Ok wanna see what i look like now ?
Before:
Today:
Pretty boy, huh ?
Ps: Shut the fuck up Peter And francois do u mind if I post picture of u when you had long hair too ? (if u dont post any comment francois in 24h ! you will be famous again :P)