Nevitz

I have one week left in nz ! I am so gonna miss my flat! Of course i really want to go back to tahiti, to see my family and my friends. But even if i live by myself in nz, its make me feels good. I mean when i am here, I’ve time to think and relax, i know i could do the same in tahiti but its just to hot to think. And the fact that there is no one to tell u what to do (not that my parents are…they r really cool) and to do whatever u want to do and whenever u want it. This sense of freedom is just awesome. And at the moment that’s what i need. I realise that i am in a mental fight with myself…I am just like jesus on a journey in the desert and trying to fight differente temptations…but i’ve failed I have what they called “procastination” (french definition here) this word reflect my situation at the moment (not all of it but some part). Its true for the part where they said i am not happy with what i am doing so i stop doing it and do something else instead. Here’s of course the main problem is my 3D project..I so want it to be perfect, i already planed the way it should look like. But i just can’t make it (but i know i will someday) so instead i play warcraft. I know its a fuckin game that waste a lot of my time, but i am just addicted to it and it make me forgot about this damn project. Its also because of the black spot on my face Once a woman told my mum that i should get those spots remove, because she said that if not i will never be able to finish whatever thing i start. It really confused me and still….how could black spots on my face could affect my way of doing things. But when i feel down about my project…when i thing that i can’t do it and thinking of doing another project that will be more suited to my capacities. I always think about what that woman said…that’s my real fight. I wanna believe that i can change that those spots won’t decide for me. I know that i might sound crazy…but i thing it really exist a link between the mind and the body. When i really think about it, i think i am that pissed because i think that the woman might be true But i think that those black spots are not something bad…there are just signs that shows me that something is wrond and that i should change. And i truelly think that when i will be able to change my mind and do things correctly those spots might dissapear on their own. I am weird huh ? lol